received news that my maintenance app had been denied on 15/10

have given up on marriage... whatever cn's gf is giving him, it's blinding him, and he won't realize what a mess he's made of things until it's too late for him

HOWEVER... i'm not waiting around until it's too late for me... still seeking God on whether or not i'm allowed to remarry, but in the meantime i will occupy

next week is a decider:
-withdrawing all my papers
-selling my car n investing in forever

not sure why tj is avoiding me... cm prob'ly doing a lot of bad-mouthing... that is what i would expect from him... but it would be nice to talk to tj and "exchange files" as he put it... i hope i am not falling for him or anything... but i don't think so, i hardly know him... he seems like a very nice guy, though... candour is the one quality that stands out... genuinely nice, unlike cm, who is manipulative.